the quicker you let go of old cheese, the
sooner you find new cheese…
for the nth time, i tried letting you go, (ulet) but it seems harder every time. its been years, 11 years, that i’ve been holding you back, finding it hard to let you, your memories, go. finding it hard to forget all about you…
i did find a few “someones” to love back then, after you, pero iba ka pa din. though everything started young, started way back when we were still young, i cant consider it na puppy love lang. kasi it was then that i started PLANNING my supposed to be future, with you, SANA… it was then that i felt how to be loved by a firend, a best friend and by someone who really believed in love.
naaalala ko pa, i was 10, you’re 11, pinag-uusapan na natin kung ano ang kukunin nating course pagdating ng college, what school to go to, what to do after college, when to get married, where to live, where to spend our growing-old years.
THEN, everything was ruined. ALL went crashing down just because of one STUPID mistake. but i dont blame you for that, if writing this will make you feel good in the afterlife. whatever it was na hindi natin napag-usapan, dahil ayokong kausapin ka after what happened, lahat ng nangyari after that, wala akong isinisi sa’yo. well, for a time siguro, kasi nga mga bata pa tayo nun. for a time i blamed you for being the weak person that you are. but thinking back, siguro it all happened for a reason. for a good reason. im just sorry that i didnt give you the chance to clear things back then. that i was too arrogant to accept your apologies. that i was too blinded by hatred.
but then again, it’s all behind me, us, now. it’s all in the past. there’s no use crying over a spilled milk. it’s no use going back to what might’ve happened.
i just have one wish now, it’s my 11th year mourning over these things, over us, over you… please help me get through this for the LAST time. give me strength and courage to overcome all of THESE for the LAST time. please. i really can’t do this alone. i know that wherever you are, you’re hearing my heart’s cry, you know what i really wanted for so long. i want to get THROUGH you, get over and done with everything that has got to do with you, but im not saying that i will forget you, that i will forget us, i just want to be free from you and your memories.
just help me with this one, please…
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if you, readers, are wondering, this is for someone special who once came in my life, and find it hard to let go of him, even after he’s gone, even after he left me, even after he’s in HEAVEN.
if you, readers, are wondering, this is for someone special who once came in my life, and find it hard to let go of him, even after he’s gone, even after he left me, even after he’s in HEAVEN.
this is for a special guy named RICHARD TIU…
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Posted Nov 01 '08
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